Terrified Frog

Save Your Marriage–Eat the Frog First


If you want to save your marriage,
start each day by
tackling the hardest,
most uncomfortable task—
eat the frog first—and watch your relationship transform.

Daniel J. Dick

Eat the Frog First to Save Your Marriage

What’s the one thing you’re avoiding in your marriage today? The one task that feels impossible, uncomfortable, maybe even a little gross? You might think it’s easier to push it off until later—but that’s where most people go wrong. Success in marriage, just like success in life, often hinges on doing the hard things first. That’s called Eating the Frog First.

We’ve all heard the old saying: If you eat a frog first thing in the morning, the rest of the day will be better. It’s a metaphor, of course. The “frog” is the hardest, most unpleasant task you need to tackle. But how can eating a frog save your marriage?

Imagine starting each day by tackling the one thing that’s been gnawing at you, that uncomfortable task you know could make a huge difference in your relationship. What if, instead of waiting until things got worse, you ate the frog? What if you did the thing you’ve been avoiding—the thing that could unlock deeper connection, trust, and intimacy?

Little does this frog know that he may soon be eaten!
Strengthen your bond by tackling challenges together—teamwork creates unity.

Why Eating a Frog Works

In marriage, the little things often become big things. Maybe you’ve been putting off an honest conversation with your spouse. Or maybe you know you need to show appreciation but can’t muster the effort. The problem is, the longer you avoid these “frogs,” the more they pile up, creating tension and distance.

What if, instead of ignoring the frog, you took action first thing in the morning? You’d build momentum for the rest of the day. That single, proactive step could set the tone for connection and positivity. Your spouse would notice the difference. You’d feel better.

And here’s the disruptive part: Most people think improving a marriage is about fixing everything at once. But it isn’t. It’s about starting with one small but essential action. And choosing connection before convenience, effort before comfort, and love before resentment. And that begins with your frog.

Maybe this frog is catching on.   Someone may want to eat the frog first!  This couple looks happy, so maybe this frog is safe.  Or not!
Small moments of connection build a lifetime of love and happiness.

How to Eat a Frog in Marriage

It doesn’t have to be complicated. Here’s how you can start eating frogs to save your marriage:

  1. Identify Your Frog Early
    Think about the one thing that could bring joy to your spouse today. Maybe it’s something you’ve avoided—like giving a genuine compliment or apologizing. Maybe it’s a simple act of kindness that you’ve neglected. This is your frog.
  2. Compliment Your Spouse
    Before anything else, tell your spouse something you admire about them. Start with positivity. It may feel small, but words of affirmation go a long way in building trust and connection.
  3. Do Something Nice, Even When You Don’t Feel Like It
    Here’s the key to eating frogs: it’s not about how you feel. It’s about what you do. Whether it’s making your spouse’s favorite breakfast or simply being present without distraction, doing something selfless sets the tone for the day.
  4. Hug or Kiss Your Spouse Before Leaving
    Physical connection is powerful. A small, affectionate gesture each morning can create a ripple effect throughout the day. It’s one of the simplest frogs to eat, but it makes a big difference.
  5. Make it Through the Morning Without Criticism
    Criticism is easy. It’s a defense mechanism when we’re feeling disconnected or stressed. But today, try something different. Focus on what’s good in your spouse, and resist the urge to criticize. This shift in focus can transform your interactions.
  6. Express Gratitude
    Every day, find something to be grateful for. Gratitude is a marriage-strengthening tool often overlooked. It helps you see the best in your spouse, even on the hardest days.
Happy couple, safe frog?  Not necessarily!
“Gratitude strengthens relationships—express appreciation daily.”

Why This Approach Changes Lives

Eating the frog isn’t just a productivity trick—it’s a mindset shift. In marriage, it’s easy to get caught up in routine, conflict, or simply going through the motions. But the secret to lasting connection is in the small, consistent actions. Tackling the hard stuff first makes the rest of the day easier, because you’re no longer carrying the weight of avoidance or regret.

By eating the frog, you’re telling your spouse—and yourself—that the marriage is worth the effort. You’re choosing to prioritize the relationship over convenience. And that is the kind of disruptive, unusual wisdom that makes real change.

Climbing a mountain may work up an appetite.  Watch out, Froggie!!!
Overcome challenges as a team, and watch your relationship thrive.

Start Tomorrow: Eat Your First Frog

Tomorrow morning, when you wake up, identify your frog. What’s the one thing you can do to improve your marriage today? Maybe it’s expressing love in a way that feels uncomfortable but meaningful. Maybe it’s choosing patience over frustration.

The point is to act. Don’t wait until it feels easy. Do it now, and watch how this small habit transforms your relationship. One frog at a time.

Share the Challenge

This isn’t just about you. If you’ve found this idea impactful, share it. Challenge others to “eat the frog” in their marriages too. The more we tackle these uncomfortable tasks, the better our relationships—and our lives—become.

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