Save Your Marriage

I have been impressed with the American Center for Law and Justice (ACLJ).  Please do not confuse this with the ACLU which is sometimes quite hostile toward Christianity and healthy moral and ethical standards.

The lawyers of the ACLJ fight for the rights of Christians.  And, this is great.  Still, some issues are more important than others, and to me the issues of homosexual marriage, cursing on the airwaves, or allowing children to share the Gospel in a valedictorian speach are important, but many of the problems the ACLJ are trying to solve could be addressed more effectively by a strong, effectual, courageous commitment to saving families of the faithful from being ransacked by unfaithful spouses and a renegade Family Law system.

If attention were given to this issue first, teen suicides would drop.  Adult suicides would drop.  Children and their faithful parents would not be deprived of their right to live together in love and peace enjoying the shared family assets just so an abusive or adulterous parent could live irresponsibly.

One one hand, if we don’t have organizations like the ACLJ, Christians would probably be suffering more with less protection than we currently have.  And, too many attorneys get rich ripping apart the families of small children and pimping for the unfaithful spouses.  At this time, the highest cause of the huge increase in military suicides is not the struggle of war but something much more gut wrenching and that is coming home from risking one’s life for one’s nation only to be robbed of home, marriage, children, possessions, and even one’s military pension.  This is no way to treat a soldier, and this is no way to treat those faithful civilians who honored their wedding vows.

I don’t think we have any right to stand against homosexual marriages unless we are willing to stand up for real marriages.  With the homosexual marriage, the binding nature of that kind of marriage can end up perhaps rightfully challenged given that a homosexual may repent and change beliefs and feel perhaps rightfully obligated to end the relationship while the heterosexual marriage could never encounter such a situation.  One’s obligation to one’s promises and one’s spouse and one’s family and one’s children and one’s society must always outweigh the lusts for infidelity.

To spend more on fighting homosexual marriage than saving heterosexual marriages is poor stewardship.  I would rather have a thousand homosexual marriages take place than to have one child grow up in a broken home unnecessarily because our charities were too busy fighting homosexuality to save real marriages.

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What do divorce, adultery, drug abuse, and suicide have in common?  Cowardice.  That probably sounds a little too harsh.  Let’s call it “fear”.  Fear of trying hard and failing anyway.  Fear of frustration.  Fear that one’s inabilities or incompetency will be exposed.  Fear of being identified as a failure.  Fear to face the difficulties of life.  Lack of confidence in one’s ability to overcome and succeed.

Some say divorce, drug abuse, and suicide are very bad solutions to ordinary problems, but they are not really solutions at all.  They are escapes.  Running away.  Wimping out.  Running off the battle field.  Going AWOL.  An escape from duty, from responsibility.

So, now that we know what the problem is, how do we solve it? Read the rest of this entry »

The best and most effective time to prevent a marriage crisis or divorce is before marriage.  These e-books help get newlyweds off to a great start.

50 Secrets of Blissful Relationships

This book often comes together with the sequel, 50 More Secrets of Blissful Relationships.  I printed these books off and read them.  I highly recommend reading them before marriage.

Proposals - Popping the Question

I got this book too late after I had already popped the question.  I got it as a part of the whole relationship collection.  (See it below.)  It’s worthwhile making your proposal a memorable moment for your loved one, and there is much wisdom in this book for keeping guys out of trouble and disappointment and embarassment.

1,000 Questions for Couples

When I see an order for this e-book come in, I feel happy.  I have mixed feelings when orders come in for an e-book that may help bring healing to a crisis situation in a marriage because it usually means a marriage is in trouble.  But, when someone buys this e-book, I know they are preparing in advance for a great marriage.  I feel that way about all the books on this page.

Michael Webb’s Whole Relationship Collection

This is the ultimate collection of relationship materials that includes the above materials and much, much more.  It covers everything about relationships from dating or courting to popping the question to romantic dates and advice on sex within marriage.  It covers the tragic situations that sometimes happen within marriage, too, such as affairs and divorce stopping and divorce recovery.

I Corinthians 13 says that three things remain — faith, hope, and love, and the greatest of these is love.  Yet, we all need hope.

People often commit suicide for loss of hope.  Hope is a belief and a trust in future happiness, that things will work out for good.  When we choose to stare at the negative things in life and when we focus on all the evidence that things are horrible and will get worse, it is easy to lose hope and become depressed.  Often disappointments get our full attention when they are still fresh, open wounds.

Read the rest of this entry »

What do people do when their house is on fire?  Do they start rebuilding the house while it is still on fire?  No.  They rush to get everyone out of the house and call 911 immediately.  They might grab water hoses and buckets to put the fire out.  But nobody rebuilds while the fire is still raging.

But, when the fires of adultery hit our families, often we fail to put the fires out before going on with life or rebuilding. Read the rest of this entry »

Pray, pray, pray - for your family and your marriage first of all, and those in your immediate family.

Set aside time with God to pray.  Be intimate with God in your heart.  Be open with Him about everything, your feelings, your thoughts, your difficulties, but also spend time thinking about the blessings that God brings to your life and your family even in the midst of the worst possible times and how He enables you to come through it victoriously. We don’t always come through victoriously, but we can if we will let God carry us through.

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Have you ever been nagged?  Did nagging ever make you feel motivated to get to your feet and launch into something with joy with all your heart and do excellently?

If so, you’re unusual.  Many people tolerate it or go along with it, but most people absolutely detest it.  And, yet so many people do it.  Why?

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I am not much of a TV person, but I enjoy seeing the news and programs related to world events. This morning I saw Helen Fisher being interviewed about her book on love addictions.

Fisher spoke of how this addiction can cause physical pain just like a drug addiction and how it is much more powerful than many other addictions in leading more people to do crazy things such as committing murder, suicide, acts of violence, driving crazy, alcohol and drug abuse, and exhibiting mental problems such as depression, loss of memory, dizziness, and other maladies.

Read the rest of this entry »

Pray, pray, pray - for your family and your marriage first of all, and those in your immediate family.

Set aside time with God to pray.  Be intimate with God in your heart.  Be open with Him about everything, your feelings, your thoughts, your difficulties, but also spend time thinking about the blessings that God brings to your life and your family even in the midst of the worst possible times and how He enables you to come through it victoriously. We don’t always come through victorously, but we can if we will let God carry us through.

Read the rest of this entry »

Have you noticed how often prophesies seem to be self-fulfilling?  That is rather than predict the future, they set the path of the future into place?

Have you noticed how well you can predict when your spouse will be nice and when he or she will misbehave?  Do you find yourself preparing yourself for the worst, preparing for battle, getting all your verbal weapons lined up and responses prepared so that you can respond to what your spouse is going to say before its finished being said?

And, what happens after that when you see your spouse?  Sparks fly?  If your spouse doesn’t start them, you start them just to make sure your spouse doesn’t get there first.  Or the look on your face and your body language and the tone of your voice sets your spouse off.  Perhaps there’s a silent treatment involved, or perhaps you think there is and don’t want to be oblivious.  But, you know there’s a fight coming, and soon you find you’re right.

Can I be blunt and honest about it?  That’s dumb.  But, we’ve probably all done it.

Read the rest of this entry »